Two Days After Losing the Love of My Life: From My Mom

Onward & Upward

My dad moved to heaven on February 18, 2019. On February 20 my mom came down from upstairs with a journal in her hand and something she wanted to share with us kids.

She said she woke up early that morning and felt like she was standing on the edge of a precipice. She was on the very edge and knew the cliff in front of her was very deep but all she could see in it was fog. She could not ever go back to what was and yet she did not know how to go forward. It was during this time that God spoke to her – she grabbed a pen and started writing. This is what I’m sharing with you today:

February 20, 2019

2 days after losing the love of my life.

I was laying in bed in the early morning and thinking about how I would carry on without my husband’s love. How is it that I will never look into his precious eyes and see love so full, so genuine, so deep looking back at me? How can I never feel his arms around me again? He loved me so beautifully. His laugh filled my soul. His, “How did I ever get you?” was a balm to me. His constant phone calls relieved the aloneness from him being away so many hours each day. His caring attention to the details in life like paying the bills, calling the gas company, making sure I always had anything I needed is gone. How will I do this alone?

And God spoke so tenderly to me:

Every time you saw love coming from Craig’s expression, that was Me loving you, too. Every time he took care of you and made sure you always had what you needed, that was Me doing it through him. Every time he would look at you with the most tender affection in his eyes, that was Me, too. He and I have the same heart. I’m the One who gave him all those things to give. He was my eyes, my arms, my hands. I was always loving you with him.

And even though his body is not next to you in this life, I will continue to love you like he always did. Every time someone puts their arms around you to love and comfort, I will be in those arms – and so will Craig. And My love and care will never leave you, my little one, so even though you have suffered such an extraordinary loss, you haven’t lost love – you haven’t lost Me.

My mom said that during this time of God speaking to her, she saw my Dad’s eyes looking at her with such love. And then she saw Jesus’ eyes morphing with Dad’s as she realized, it was His love all along and nothing in heaven or earth can separate her from His love.

“For He, God Himself, has said, ‘I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not. I will not. I will not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake nor let you down, relax My hold on you. Assuredly not!'”

Hebrews 13:5 AMPC

I hope this is life-giving to someone who has lost someone, even if only temporarily through physical death, who loved them with God’s kind of love. Dad moved to heaven, but the God who loved us through Him is still very near. Near to us, near to you.

4 thoughts on “Two Days After Losing the Love of My Life: From My Mom

  1. Amen and amen! The message is the same but I have never heard it shared in this way!! Thank you! His Mercies are new every morning. ~ And Coria Family, YOU are never out of our prayers.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this intimate look at loss. It’s not easy to open ourselves up to the scrutiny of such an inspection! But it is such a blessing to so many. Although I have not lost my husband, I have lost two of my brothers and my father, and this speaks so wonderfully to my heart. May the Lord multiply his blessings and grace to you all.

    1. I have always found writing my thoughts and feelings easier than speaking them 😊 Oh Cathie, my heart goes out to you. I have realized how common it is to lose loved ones but it does not make it any easier. We were not created to experience such loss and pain but oh what precious promises we have! I have never been more thankful for what God did for us through Jesus.

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